Life Since Motherhood: What's Changed and What Hasn't

Happy Mother's Day to all those mamas out there! Are you doing anything special with your family? We had dinner at my mom's last night and today we are having brunch with my dad then heading out to our local garden center to get some plants and flowers so I can play in the dirt!

Teacup Human was born a little over a year and a half ago, sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes a lifetime ago. She is the absolute love of my life and I thank God every day that I get to be her mama.

Over the course of my pregnancy and new motherhood, I knew things were going to change but I also knew somethings were going to stay the same and get even better.

What's Changed

I don't give a fuck. After college, I wasn't much of a person who cared about strangers opinions - it was a long process to get there, but I got there. After Teacup was born, I stopped worrying about other peoples' opinions all together. My main concern is my baby and what she needed. Now granted, I give more weight to what my husband and family think, but that stranger in the grocery store? Fuck 'em.

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My tolerance for idiots. I've never had a high tolerance for morons, but when I'm functioning on little sleep and just want to be home so I can cuddle with my baby, that tolerance is almost gone. Nonexistent. There is murder in my eyes and I will let you know my feelings. I especially don't have tolerance for public places that don't have changing tables but do have highchairs. I don't care if it doesn't fit your esthetic. You know what's going to ruin your esthetic? Me changing my child's poopy diaper in the middle of the dining room. 

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Bodily functions don't gross me out. When Teacup was a week old, we took her newborn pictures. During this photo session, I got peeped and pooped on simultaneously. It was a nice "Welcome to Motherhood!" Since then, I've had my fair share of changing blowouts (it really can go all the way up their back), randomly getting poop on my hands, catching vomit, and being handed chewed food was deemed unacceptable. Plus, babies really do have the cutest farts.

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I am ten times more organized. I was always an organized person. In high school, I loved using my planner for writing down assignments, due dates, and the like. This trait followed me to college and beyond. For 2017 I had a regular paper planner which worked fine, but was lacking. For 2018 I upgraded to the Plum Paper ME planner and absolutely love it! I'll do a separate post on it later, but just know it's kind of the best thing and I would be lost without it.

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I'm more emotional than ever. I was always an easy crier, but now I cry at almost everything that brings upon strong emotion. Remember that Amazon commercial where the dad buys his dog a lion mane so his baby won't be afraid of him? Instant tears.

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What Hasn't Changed

I get to spend plenty of one-on-one time with my husband. It's not as much as before Teacup was born, but we still carve out time for just us. Whether that's watching TV after she's gone to bed, hanging out on the couch reading while she naps, or having a date night we ensure we keep our relationship strong. It's harder, yes, but it also allows us to enjoy our time together all the more.

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I am able to carve out time for me. Recently I've started doing Yoga with Adriene and I'm obsessed. It's definitely helped me be more claim and keep my racing thoughts at bay. It's helped me fall asleep quicker, and stay asleep, as well as be more present each day. I'm not toting this as "the cure for all your woes" this is just what has worked for me.

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Baby giggles are the best thing - and make it hard to discipline. If you tell me you don't at least smile when a baby giggles I'm going to call you a liar. It is one of my favorite things when Teacup giggles. The drawback is that when she does something bad and giggles when I scold her, I have to look away. I can't help but smile, which defeats the whole purpose, because "if Mommy is smiling and laughing I'm not doing something wrong." Joe is definitely better with disciple because he can keep a straight face.

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I care about my appearance. I'm not vain about it, but I also don't (purposefully) leave the house with unbrushed hair and dirty clothes. I've perfected the five-minute beauty routine - eyebrows, eyeliner if I'm feeling ambitious and have time, mascara, and lipstick. When I look good, I feel good.

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I drink alcohol. I'm not a lush about it, but after a long day and a cranky toddler a nice class of red wine goes a long way

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I have time for my friends. We're all quite busy and at this point are either married, having babies, or have had (multiple) babies, so I'll admit it's tricky to find time. But the nice thing is with today's technology, we're always within reach. We may have to schedule a night out months in advance, but it's always worth the wait!

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Happy Cesarean Awareness Month!

Cesarean sections represent 32% of all deliveries in the United States. This means one out of three woman become a mother via c-section. A little less than two years ago, I became one such Mama.

My C-Section Experience

The basis for my birth plan was to get her out safely, healthy, and an epidural. I informed my family that if they didn't put the baby in there and they weren't helping get her out, they were more than welcome to hang out in the waiting room during delivery. Fair game during labor.

My due date came and went. And went. And went. My doctor scheduled an induction for nine days after I was due and I did everything I was able in hopes of going in to labor - bouncing on an exercise ball, going for walks, spicy food, pineapple, you name it I tried it.

When I went in for my induction, I wasn't any closer to going into labor than I was when the induction was scheduled. Zeros across the board. My daughter didn't want to come out and she was staying put. Mama was 41.5 weeks pregnant and more than ready.

Long story short, I was induced, spent an extremely uncomfortable night hooked up to machines, I got my epidural, my water was broken, things progressed beautifully, and we were told she'd be born later that day! So I took a nap.

My doctor woke me up from my nap to check on Teacup Human and that's when her heart rate dropped. I don't remember much, but I remember not being able to breath, being given an oxygen mask, and my doctor saying "We need to get prepped for a c-section now."

I remember being terrified and asking my mother-in-law where my husband was and for her to call my mom as they wheeled me out of my room. They got me in the OR and informed me I would need to be completely put under anesthetist. I prayed harder than I have ever prayed, took a moment to wish Joe was there, they put the mask over my mouth and I was out.

I woke up two hours later in my hospital bed, shaking and vomiting. Joe was by my side and the first words out of my mouth were "Is she okay?" When he told me she was perfect and healthy I demanded to know where she was and where he had been.

She was in the nursery and he had been at Starbucks. Before you come at him with pitchforks and fire - the doctor had told us we still had hours to go and I was napping. Starbucks was less than three minutes from the hospital and they had just pulled into the parking lot when his mom got a hold of him. He and his father raced back to the hospital and he was running up to OR doors just as they were closing. The nurse wouldn't let him into the room and wasn't able to tell him much, just that she had to go and would update him soon. Given how scared I was, I could only imagine how terrified he and our families must have been.

After convincing Joe and the nurse I was fine, they wheeled in my daughter and placed in her into my arms. I immediately starting crying and thanking God that we were both okay. 

 

What I Learned

It was fast. They had Teacup Human out in less than a minute. I don't know how fast they move if it's not an emergency and a planned c-section, but they were not playing.

Cesarean sections are a legit surgery. When I went home, they told me to clean my incision carefully, not to go upstairs or downstairs (with the exception of in the morning and at night for bed), not to lift anything heavier than my daughter, no driving for two weeks, and to keep an eye out if for puss and oozing aka infection. Also, here are some serious meds to help with the pain. I spent days on our cough only getting up to pee. Even when I went in for my six week checkup I wasn't completely healed.

Comfy clothes are the best clothes. I lived in sweats for weeks - though to be fair because of who I am as a person this might have been the case either way. I rolled my pants so they sat just under my incision and worse baggy shirt to ensure minimal rub because . . .

It hurts. Okay, this is more of a given and not necessary something I "learned," but it was p-a-i-n-f-u-l. It was painful to move, painful to get up, painful to sit down, painful to laugh, cough, sneeze. No matter what I did, I found a way to irradiate to the incision.

You can guilt your family in to doing {almost} anything for you. Granted, my family would have helped me with anything I needed but I feel like my c-section got me special-special treatment. "Sorry, honey. The doctor said I'm couch bound. I guess you have to let the dog in after he's been running in mud / change this exceptionally poopy diaper / get me another snack - yes, I'm still hungry. I'm breastfeeding and need extra calories!"

I would do it all again in a heartbeat. My daughter is my life. And if I had to go through all that terror, pain, anxiety, and worry again to ensure she was safe and healthy? I would do it a million times over.

1,000 Books Before Kindergarten

Last week, a friend of mine tweeted about setting up a Goodreads account for her one year old son for the 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten program, which she first heard about when Daliyah Marie Arana was �Librarian For the Day� at the Library of Congress back in January. Being an avid reader myself and hoping to instill the love of reading in to Teacup Human, I knew this was something we had to partake in too!

 

We've already read a few books here and there to her, but the thought to track them never occurred to me and I cannot wait to start adding these books to her own Goodreads page. A page I hope she'll continue on her own once she gets old enough. Not to mention, how cool will it be when she's older and looks back on all the books her father and I read to her when she was younger!?

On their official website, there is the option to Find a Program in your state and I was pleased to find my local library is a participant! This also led me to find out about their Baby and Me Storytimes, another opportunity to get Teacup Human into the library and developing a love of books!

If you have a child, grandchild, niece/nephew, etc. and so on, I highly suggest you check out this program! Or, if you are already participating in the program, share with us your favorite aspects and how you're doing thus far!

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Babies Are Hard Work

Well that's an obvious fact, isn't it?

I mean, who knew that a newborn would need constant attention and would be a drain on any energy you managed to syphon out of the universe? Okay, I knew that. But I didn't know-know that. You know going into parenting that it's going to be hard, but you don't know how hard it's actually going to be. Nobody can really prepare you for that.

And nobody can really prepare you for the amount of love and joy this teacup human is going to bring you either.  Sure, people tell you and you nod and smile because you know they're right, but until you actually see and hold your child, you don't know.

I'll tell you right now the reason for my almost radio silence is because being a mother is hard, time consuming work. (Another duh statement.) And maternity leave is not what I expected.

No, I didn't expect to sleep in all the day, lounge about while watching TV, read all the books, or take numerous naps because newborns "sleep all day." But I didn't expect to get zero reading done, watch nothing but HGTV and bad TV (I've not only "remodeled" my house 10 times, but I have sunk to a new low of trash TV that even I never thought possible), and have my sleep schedule completely fucked over in the way that some days I wake up at 8am still tired and some days I'm wide awake at 5am. Also, what's a hairbush?

Motherhood is one of those things where you know what to expect, but you don't know what to expect.

I've let a lot of my hobbies go to the wayside, especially in those first few weeks. I'm just now getting back to taking care of me. I know all the doctors and experts say that you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others, but keeping a teacup human alive is hard work! And when said teacup human doesn't need you for those few brief moments, the last thing you want to be doing is giving yourself an at home facial or manicure. You just want to sit and watch mindless TV.

In those early weeks, it was hard for me to just get away and take a shower. My husband is one of the good ones and does everything he can to help me keep my sanity. He loves our daughter and loves being a daddy. But before we found a bottle she liked, which was a task in and of itself, my "me time" only extended for so long. Joe does it all, but he can't breastfeed. Thankfully, we found a bottle/nipple she likes and I now have the ability for long hot showers and running to Target by myself. Who knew wandering around Target with a hot drink from Starbucks would feel like a vacation?! #momlife

I've had my highest-highs and lowest-lows as a new mom. It's hard. It's stressful. It's beyond rewarding and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Because when Teacup Human looks at me and smiles or has fallen asleep in my arms, I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be her mom.